.making.it.happen.

I got a lovely gift from my bro. A nice big tub full of sour soothers... but problem is once I got my paws into them. I realized they were soft and fresh still.... yeah I know what your thinking...whats wrong with fresh soft candies???? I'll mother fucking tell you whats wrong. It's gross! I like that shit OLD & STALE. Not like older men and not like gummy bears and gummy worms!! EWW they all make me cringe...
Well I thought hard, what the eff can I do about this? Well got my mind thinking. So this is what i came up with:

HOW 2 MAKE STALE CANDY:
#ONE take the tub and STAB it with a giant kitchen knife. (the more scary the knife the better) I like the one they used in the movie ♥THE STRANGERS♥...
#TWO stuff the tub into a clean bag and tie it loosely.
#THREE hide it somewhere in your house. If you can manage to hide it somewhere so well, even YOU can't find it. Than you have won tons of cookie points with me :) I put the fucker under my bed. I guess I'm just not THAT creative.

Don't bother asking me how long it will take to stale up... cause I have no idea. Maybe a month? Beats me. I am assuming this is like pickling eggs or whatever... the longer the better hahahhaha. Listen, I googled it online okay... and well lets just say, no one is as wacky as I am to give a flying EFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
Thats why this earth is going to blow up...LIKE soon.... because I said so :)