.the.wizard.of.UGH.

On New Years eve I happened to have the fucking fever and it ruined my New Years completely. Actually, the pathetic place we went to killed it for me first and then the stupid fever did. Here are some pics all awhile I was sick in the hotel:

Anyways, I layed in bed for 2 days strait hoping to feel better. I had nothing better to do, so I wrote this blog on my phone:

01.01.08 TM 3 AM
All four of us are all stuck in some hotel together in Calgary. I am obviously bored out of my tree and for some reason I am thinking of the wizard of oz characters. Well there was The main bitch, The scarecrow, the tin man and the lion. And what was it again.... the scarecrow wanted a brain, the tin man wanted a heart, the lion wanted courage and the main bitch just wanted to go effing home. So It's like 3 AM, and I'm looking at the guys laying around half alive and I ask them, if we were the wizard of oz character which ones would we be? Lebster replies first with "I would so be the lion cause I'm such a biiitccch!" and then he points at Hai and says "and you would so be the scarecrow!..." and before he could go on to explain why, Hai mumbles out some Babel, but the only thing we could make out is the word "beer" so we quickly agree he would be the Scarecrow. I would so be the bitch cause all I want to do right now is to go the eff home!!!! Hai says "why don't you just click ur shoes and go home then!?" and I say ugh and mike interrupts with "hahaha I would sooo be the tin man cause I'm always hard!" and I'm like "eww a tin dick! How could that even possibly feel good!!" Mikes like "oh you'll find a way!" and then Lebster starts shouting "who said anything about feeling good? Have you ever been raped by a lion a scarecrow and a tin man before!?" The room goes silent.
I'm Like "first of all the lion would be too much of a puss to make a move and the scarecrow would be too dumb to know how to have sex and the tin man.... Well...." Lebster cuts me off and says "listen if the scarecrow & tin man held you down than the lion would have courage to do it! Do you want us all to demonstrate!?" let's just say the wizard of oz thing ended right there & than.
As I am writing this, I told mike he smelt good. And I asked him how could that be? He is all "ravey" and ravey is not cool. He explains that it's cause of all of his amazingness. Then I told him if he was an ♥Anchorman character♥he would so be ♥Brian Fantana♥, cause Brian is so conceited. And then he said I would be ♥BRICK♥ Humph. Brick is so dumb! Mike said that's his point... I would be Brick! I am so mad!

So the moral of this story is: If I did have a nice pair of new shiny red ♥MANOLO'S♥... I wouldn't click no heels together like she did. Sorry to break the news people, but that Dorthy bitch was just high on PCP. See I would of totally of done the realistic thing here... I would take my 5 Inch stilettos off and stab someone with them (like in the movie ♥single white female♥styles), take their half alive body as hostage, jump on a plane and make it back to Edmonton ALL awhile making long distant threat calls to their families on their cheap crazor and ordering shit off those gay magazines they have in front of you. The absolute best thing of all is the fact that I get to ♥MAX OUT♥ someone Else's credit cards...for once.
haha hey! It's just for fun. Just for a good chuckle or two ya know? Sigh... I could only wish...





"awww baby pretty please...
it's only 6 hundred dollars..."




♥[FUN FACTS!]♥