.my.dads.such.a.hater.

dad: your car looks like a garbage can
ME: dad your such a HATER!
dad: whats that?
ME: you... hating on me cause of who I am.... this be the way I'm living... hahah carefree YO!
dad: Carefree?? Your car is actually a giant bin full of garbage!
ME: whatevz dad. Your just jealous. If my car is full of garbage than why did you take my Britney Spears CD?
dad: .... BHAHAHHA not full of garbage after all! hahahahah! This morning, I was woken up with my cool dad screaming at me. All I remember was I was wasted and half awake when all I remember is him in my room screaming "WTF R U TALKING ABOUT??" I guess he came in the room asking me where the house phones were, and I replied with "dad you shouldn't carry to many cell phones thats just strait HEAT!" ahhahah and then all I remember is being woken up with buddy screaming at me.. hahaha yep. Fuck dads a pure hater hahahhahaha... I was sleeping for fuck sakes!!! ahhahahaha.

.out.doing.eachother.or.out.doing.it.

You wanna know how buck we go? HAHAH well, this whole section was done in ONE day. Lebster decided to join in. hahhah. And suddenly it was all about outdoing each other too funny.

Lebster- Ode to the midget, these minuscule creatures really do exist, though many believe they are just a myth. They're pretty much useless, incapable of work. But they fuck and suck good so that's a perk. They can swallow your prick without kneeling down, its kind of like fucking a miniature clown. Cock slapping a midget really is a ball, who knew a fuck hole could be just 2 feet tall.
Me- Ode to the crackhead my life is seriously falling apart, & all I can think is where is money mart? I sold my 2 year old 2 a pedi down the street. Fuck I'm short my dealer is going to give me the beats.I'm thinking of ways to steal & sell, to get that crack cuz I feel like hell. I'll suck ur cock for half a gram, trust I don't mind even getting rammed. I c Vito walking by but I do not dare, but I know this hustler has some change to spare. I say yo bro, can u give me a free piece? & he says sure give me some head n watch ur teeth!
ME- Ode to gold diggers. I got a shovel it's made of gold. I don't mind being strait up & being bold. U open ur wallet I open my legs. U pay 4 my dinners & later we shag. This is how it goes u know what it's about, I'm an expensive hooker without a doubt. I ain't looking 4 love so hand it down, once I get it, I'll let u pound my mound. With Ur ugly ass & I'm one hot chick, u show me paps & I'll suck ur dick.give me ur money bank #s & cards, I'll go to my lowest just to keep u hard. U pay? I stay that's how it goes, I have nothing to offer but my holes. Do as u please especially beat & cheat, it don't matter cuz the money makes me weak. When ur cash goes low I'm already moved on, so don't get attached I won't be around ur broke ass long!
[bahahah fuck Ricky told me to change this to "ode to the nammer bitch" hahahha]
ME- Ode to deep throating. Bitches be shoving steak tubes down their throats...hold her head down till she chokes. Help her out & press it deep, girls who know how to do - don't come cheap. Stop her complaints just shove it in, who gives a fuck where ur dick has been. Some r champs who swallow it all, others no good they'll puke on ur balls.
ME- Ode to the asshole, Some smell good & many of them stink. Holes so tight they deserve a dink! It feels way better than u think, if it hurts too much, try a chink!! Faggots all love them small lil holes, it's their pussy they play the roles. Fudge packers & baby makers take it both at the same time, bitches be cryin when giant cocks be diggin all up in where the sun don't shine! Spit on it & give it a good lube, go real deep till it's almost rude. Pull that dirty dick out after u go, quick don't hes! Turn her around & and do a Dirty sanchez!!!!
Lebster- Ode to the hooker they come in all shapes, they come in all sizes. You might get an old one, who's full of surprises. You might get a young one, who's ripe and ready. But give em a mint cuz their breath might be deadly. 10 bux for head 35 for ass, and 2 STD's for a little more cash.
Me- Ode to herpes. See I am the ballerest bitch in town, do what u will can't get me out of downtown. I'm round and nasty, & full of puss... U be nice & treat me well and I'll turn to crust. I'll slowly fade right from ur cunt, why u embarrassed? U went bareback and 2 the punch. Herpes they call me I'm a sick fucking diesies, don't catch me cuz I'll never leave. I'm on the lips too & like to chill around the hole, one time I stained some strippers pole. Sadly the next bitch went up & felt the smear, uh oh yep it's what her bf feared. I'm a bitch that shows up when u cheat on me, don't fuck around cuz I'm the deadliest std.
Lebster- Ode to the necrophilia I'm twisted extremely, have no doubt, only when ur dead will my penis come out. Don't move a muscle, don't even breathe, skin looking grey and a smell you wouldn't believe. Dead bodies are hot, the living get ignored. I get a helluva boner when I visit the morgue.
RICKY- Ode to incest, its a whole game the family can play, this might seem weird be that as it may. From mom to dad little brother to sister, how many people can say my sibling i did fist her. Mom kisses son sister blows dad this is turning into the latest fad, just remember only family allowed when outsiders join its to much of a crowd. When its all over supper can be made but not before everyone gets laid. Maybe ask an uncle or even an aunt, can cousin come? No he cant. So families don't be afraid to admit what your doing dad don't be ashamed of the daughter your screwing and moms really no need to hide your dirty little secret, your son you love to ride.

I think necrophilia, herpes and incest win. What do ya know lebster me and ricky all tie. HAHAHHAH sooo funny.

.my.talented.Mr.Ricky.pt.1.

One day.. Ricky my talented perverted friend. Decided to send me one of his poems. And here are a few of the earlier ones hahahah sooo funny.

Ode to the side boob Some call it a tease or incomplete, but i think side boob is really neat. Curvy, round, and out of sight, i hope to glimpse side boob tonight. So ladies keep those dresses flowing, and more side boob you will b showing. Low Cleavage fashion is out of date, but for the side boob its not too late. So raise your arms way up high, and flash that side to a guy. If he wants to see the front, lift your skirt and show your......front
Ode to the ass Round, firm, soft, or small. If u have a nice bum, give me a call. I like them big, not soft or bony. Don't pad them up and be a phony. Round and firm just like an apple, with ur bum id like to grapple. Of ur ass i am a fan, unless of course u r a man
Ode to the bearded clam Small in shape and very clean, when its wet its beard does gleam. But as pretty as it may be, the tender clam i hardly see. Hidden and kept right out of right, i thank the stars it does not bite. If the clam u come across, u need to show it whose the boss. So reach ur hand into the ocean, and work it up with the motion. If u succeed its quite a feat, for bearded clam u now will eat.
Ode to the nipple Flattened, bumpy or erect. Some are big, and some a speck. Twist them, pull them, rub them down. Some are pink and some are brown. Always warm and always nice, unless u lick them with some ice. Sharp and pointy they become, on those bumps just like a bum. Surrounded by a circle wall, sometimes big and sometimes small. I finish this poem with a request, can i touch your tender breast?
Ode to the scrotum Sometime saggy, sometimes tight, hidden away from the light. The family jewels it protects, even if they are just specks. Some are forests some are smooth, please don't kick it with ur shoes. When ur out with a hot girl, please ur balls don't unfurl. If shes a bitch then dose the hag, and when shes out her mouth teabag. Unlike forced entry there is no mark, even if done in the dark. Of her innocence v r a robber, while she coats ur balls with slobber...

Those were his earlier ones... I wrote one called "Ode to the giant vagine" I am sooo sad I didn't save it and can't find it! grrr. All i member was it was something so large and vase in size... sucks people in and they die inside? fuck I can't member.
Heres one I did save that was from me:

Ode to the lips. Some so lushious and many so thin. Fuck so nasty when niggers mouth hangs down to the chin. Some know how to use...kisses so well ur just in luck! If she or... he gets down & prepares to suck! Pucker those bad boys up and lick.... Use those poutys and embrace the dick! Lips so fine it blows ur mind.... Watch out for the gritty ones who like to kiss the be...hind.

weak. That was weak. LOL!

.my.talented.Mr.Ricky.pt.2.

Here are his newest. These are EFFIN' BALLER 4 sure!

Ode to the gangbang All at once, or one at a time, if the bitch is wiling it isnt a crime. Her pussy, her neck, and right down her crack, the best is one Asian on many a black. Coughing and spitting with no chance to stop, juices are flowing, go get the mop. The best are the ones that think they arent sluts, that's when you force two dicks in their butts....As for the ending, it gets pretty wacky, as the Japanese say.... "its time for bukkakee! "
Ode to bukakke ladies and gentlemen gather around, and tell that whore to kneel on the ground. Get her a cup or even a wine glass, start jerkin your shit and come on her ass. Get it in the cup while you beat your meat, a warm thick cocktail this bitch will soon eat. All over her face and down her throat and you and a bunch of friends can soon gloat, you can tell the story a true one we suppose, about how a team of guys skeeted on one or more hoes
Ode to philipinoes With accents so strong, and so quick to marry, we call them all monkeys, cause the girls are hairy. Yes they are catholic, and yes they are nice. But damned if i, take one for a wife. They do lack height, so short they fade, but when cleaning the floors, they make a good maid. To care for the sick, is their other job. "fuck it speak English! Not Tagalog!" all this aside, I'm not being mean. The truth is so hard, when your card is not green. Round them all up! Those born here too. But please use your gloves, they might have the flu. I end this all now, with a lovely quote. "call me a flip, and ill cut your damn throat!"
[I was quite flattered when he told me I was his inspiration for the slitting the throat thing awww *blush*]
Ode to the art of pedophilia this something i been practicing for ages, threw this art there has been many stages. When girls my age cant be found, i look to those who crawl on the ground, i tempt them with candy and toys alike and for the elementary girls a ten speed bike. I could go for older ones but really why bother, its more fun when I'm old enough to be their father. I know what your thinking he is a horrible man, all i can say is half your age minus as much as you can. If there old enough to crawl there in the right position but really 2 eight year olds is what I'm wishing. We don't earn belts like karate or even rankings, but we will give your kids back door spankings.

and here is one of my newest:

Ode to a rapist In the alleys I do lurk... I rape them bitches with a smirk. Outside ur window I shall stalk... Count my hours before I beat her with my cock. Cover her mouth I use duct tape. I ask that hoe whose her daddy about to rape!!? I don't use rubber, I go bare back, fuck this hoe is fucking stacked!! There I go I'm in her hole.... Whoops a virginity I did just stole. B4 I finish I smack her bum...."No little bitch can make me cum" Hahahahahhahaha

a lot better than my last *wink*
When I get drunk I like to rip things... hahahah

11.14.08 Ricky 2 me: what you doing tonight nigger dick? (That's your new nickname, cause when you mad you rip bitches apart hahahha)

.if.I.were.a.boy.

I was so bored, I was looking up fun surveys to do and forward to friends (yah yah I'm fucking gay) Well I found this retarded survey some retard junior high school bitch wrote. To make this more interesting... lets pretend me: 'Kimmie' were a boy...

How many times a day would you kiss me? whenever you wanted and didn't want me tọo
How many times a day would you fuck me? whenever you wanted and didn't want me too (preferably when you didnt want me too and yelled rape that would be koo)
Would we fuck everyday? Depends if I'm already inside someone else
How many times a day would you just want to hold me? I'll hold you up after I knock your ass out. Just to see if your still alive and I'll even wait around till your conscious again... you know... make sure you don't snitch on my ass for being a lil 2 'rough'
would you take me places? How about I take you from behind?
If we went out on a date would you have me pay for it? fuck yah. That is the mother fucking shiznat when bitches be reaching for their wallets. It's the 2000's okay. Not 1930 no mo! Bitch you wanted rights, you wanted to vote, you wanted to work, bitch you put on the pants now you can walk in them too. BOO YAH!
If one of my friends tried to get with you what would you do? Rock her... but don't worry I'll be picturing you FO SHOZ!
Would you tell me? Obviously.... You always talk about how I don't share things. Did u know ur best friend likes it in her A$$??! Fuck shes BUCK!
Would you introduce me to your mom/dad? HELL NO! My parents are Jews. We don't like Muslims beat it
you: but your Asian...
me: ya but they are real cheap and shit.. so same shit different pile no what I'm sayin'?
you: I'm not even Muslim!!
me: ..you always have a problem with everything I say hey? This is why men cheat. So whatevz!
Would you care about what I wore when we r out ? Damn rights gurl. I am pre-advertising what I'm going to pimp out after I'm finished amusing myself with you.
Would you go to the Club with me? Yah. Thats where all my 'dawgs' are. And they are high rollazz... they will pay for a piece like you. Especially if your rolling with me.
If someone tried to fight me in front of you what would you do? I would knock em out. Than tell you to take all the money and credit cards and shit for me
If I cheated on you would you take me back? Of course I would. Even better. The sooner you realized your a whore, the quicker I can make some easy paps off zo ass.
If I said I loved you would you say it back? Oh this ones so easy. I love you baby. See?

BAHAHAH how realistic... sigh. That was fun. That took about 4 hours to do. Talk about wasting a good ol' 4 hours. J.K. hahha imagine though eh.