.better.BELIEVE.its.smells.like.whore.

Here is another one of my WHO THE FUCK had the guts and balls to fucking manufacturer and dare launch a new Britney Spears perfume????! FUCK WHO?? Actually I should re-ask that... WHO THE FUCK would even WEAR it?? WHO?? Then again... why am I writing this fucking blog about it? UGH FUCK ME!!!

It pisses me off, when girls cry about bitches in magazine and compare themselves to models. Most models we see, are bulimic or anorexic. Are you bulimic or anorexic? Then get over it!! It makes me annoyed too that I am only 5"4 and I have a gross stick Asian body with no curves. Yeah it makes me mad!! But what can I do about it. At least I have titties. That's right... titties.
I can't stand especially when people compare themselves to this white trash whore. It makes me angry because we ALL KNOW.. she really looks like this:♥GROSS♥ and not like in this extremely photoshopped shit we see in her perfume ad. Nice name. "Believe" HAHAHHAHA... does anyone believe that Britney will ever get it together? Does anyone believe she even has feelings? lol.

I am such a bitch.

.small.talk.

Mike and I were driving down 97 st, I spot Eden the strip club. It says: Where temptation begins... And I say: and ends in herpes.

Driving down Whyte Ave, my sugar man and I decide to have burn wars.

Me: You know what I want...
Mike: your dignity back?
Me: no if I wanted my dignity back, all I would hafto do is break up with you.
Mike: No honey, that's called losing out.
Me: I guess losing out to herpes isn't such a bad thing...
Mike: [long silence}... you have aids.
... I win!!!

HAHHAHA fucking hilarious. I value our conversations so much. No one else baby... no one else.

.Three.effing.words.

Did you ever wonder if most blonde celebrities were actually as useless as they act? Well take a good look at useless bitch Pamela Anderson. I honestly thought it was always an act. Like I know they cant wipe their own ass and they need to blow all their money on making other people do simple things for them, such things like brushing the teeth, or breathing or whatevez. But honestly, I couldn't believe my fucking eyes when I stumbled across this article.

Pamela Anderson thought she couldn't do makeup so she had a team of make-up artists do the work. Pam says, "I never wore make-up back home in Canada. And when I moved to Los Angeles, Playboy did it, as well as my hair, so I never learned to do it myself."
Breathing is hard enough for this whore. I guess being a celebrity is SO fucking hard. I should try to be a little more sensitive.
"But I have just done my own make-up at a shoot - I brought my Barbie box of eyelashes, glue, black eyeliner, eye-shadows, pink lip-gloss, very little foundation and went to town. We were all a little nervous at first, but it turned out fine. No more $9,000-a-day for make-up bills, I'm married now."

3 words: "Useless fucking cunt.




"9 G's later- looking good"

.the.wizard.of.UGH.

On New Years eve I happened to have the fucking fever and it ruined my New Years completely. Actually, the pathetic place we went to killed it for me first and then the stupid fever did. Here are some pics all awhile I was sick in the hotel:

Anyways, I layed in bed for 2 days strait hoping to feel better. I had nothing better to do, so I wrote this blog on my phone:

01.01.08 TM 3 AM
All four of us are all stuck in some hotel together in Calgary. I am obviously bored out of my tree and for some reason I am thinking of the wizard of oz characters. Well there was The main bitch, The scarecrow, the tin man and the lion. And what was it again.... the scarecrow wanted a brain, the tin man wanted a heart, the lion wanted courage and the main bitch just wanted to go effing home. So It's like 3 AM, and I'm looking at the guys laying around half alive and I ask them, if we were the wizard of oz character which ones would we be? Lebster replies first with "I would so be the lion cause I'm such a biiitccch!" and then he points at Hai and says "and you would so be the scarecrow!..." and before he could go on to explain why, Hai mumbles out some Babel, but the only thing we could make out is the word "beer" so we quickly agree he would be the Scarecrow. I would so be the bitch cause all I want to do right now is to go the eff home!!!! Hai says "why don't you just click ur shoes and go home then!?" and I say ugh and mike interrupts with "hahaha I would sooo be the tin man cause I'm always hard!" and I'm like "eww a tin dick! How could that even possibly feel good!!" Mikes like "oh you'll find a way!" and then Lebster starts shouting "who said anything about feeling good? Have you ever been raped by a lion a scarecrow and a tin man before!?" The room goes silent.
I'm Like "first of all the lion would be too much of a puss to make a move and the scarecrow would be too dumb to know how to have sex and the tin man.... Well...." Lebster cuts me off and says "listen if the scarecrow & tin man held you down than the lion would have courage to do it! Do you want us all to demonstrate!?" let's just say the wizard of oz thing ended right there & than.
As I am writing this, I told mike he smelt good. And I asked him how could that be? He is all "ravey" and ravey is not cool. He explains that it's cause of all of his amazingness. Then I told him if he was an ♥Anchorman character♥he would so be ♥Brian Fantana♥, cause Brian is so conceited. And then he said I would be ♥BRICK♥ Humph. Brick is so dumb! Mike said that's his point... I would be Brick! I am so mad!

So the moral of this story is: If I did have a nice pair of new shiny red ♥MANOLO'S♥... I wouldn't click no heels together like she did. Sorry to break the news people, but that Dorthy bitch was just high on PCP. See I would of totally of done the realistic thing here... I would take my 5 Inch stilettos off and stab someone with them (like in the movie ♥single white female♥styles), take their half alive body as hostage, jump on a plane and make it back to Edmonton ALL awhile making long distant threat calls to their families on their cheap crazor and ordering shit off those gay magazines they have in front of you. The absolute best thing of all is the fact that I get to ♥MAX OUT♥ someone Else's credit cards...for once.
haha hey! It's just for fun. Just for a good chuckle or two ya know? Sigh... I could only wish...





"awww baby pretty please...
it's only 6 hundred dollars..."




♥[FUN FACTS!]♥

.are.you.effin.kidding.me?.

So Mikey and I are walking around blockbuster, looking for a movie when something pink caught my eyes. Whatever it is, it has my full attention. I take a closer look and I almost puked into my mouth and re-ate it and puked it up again. What the fuck is wrong with people?! Who would actually waste film and time letting bimbo Simpson "try" to act again?! WHO???
Her new pathetic movie(which bombed of course)is called: BLONDE AMBITION. Not only did it go strait to DVD, it was only $6.99. I don't even think they were even the previously viewed ones. ahaha of course!
But HELLO!! It's already been done whore face.♥LEGALLY BLONDE!!!?♥ Resse Witherspoon is so much more adorable and hotter than Simpson. Plus who wants to watch Simpson walk into a wall and say "omg I think I almost saw God" and then walk forward into the wall again... now repeat that over and over again for like....an hour.
You never hear movies titled "CATTY BURNETTES" or whatever. All I effin' see is "Red heads give head" or how about "Barely legal brunettes". I fucking HATE Jessica Simpson. Here is $6.99 go buy yourself some condoms and go fuck yourself you annoying twit.

.attention.whores...or.just.reaching.out?.

"listen broski... you really need to go see Sandy for laser treatments. Like I know her okay.. she would totally be into you man."

Attention: Here are some lovely furry Japanese buttocks for your eyes. It's so goddamn sexy, I'm like a deer caught in the headlights.

"let's prove them bitches wrong!

Asians do have BIG packages!"

Reaching out: actually this is just retardation. Is that even a word? No? Never mind it is. I just dictionary.com-ed it. Weird, I never knew these words existed either....

• retardative
• retardatory
• retardment
• maybe I'm retarded because I didn't know they existed, and now I am writing about them to fill more blog space as I love to do so dearly...

Jap people are fucked up! I wish I was Japanese so bad.
Why oh why must I be just a dirty Nammer?

.I.miss.my.durka.durka(s).

It's been like 2 months... he's gone. His brothers gone. Not gone for good. But definitely gone for now. UGH. I wish he was here and not in some cold ass cell, with some other dude. I worry about him and wonder all the time what he is thinking and how he is feeling. Shitty I'm sure. But he's a strong guy.. he can pull through anything...
I miss you brownie *sniffle I missed him so much I even made a tizme dude of him -------> yeah he looks kinda confused or paranoid or whatevz... but at least I put a cell in his hand! Well a Blackberry to be correct. lol.
sigh...
Some funny memories with him:

1. That time we were all drunk and he came to Edmonton, and he brought "horse". And I remember how someone accidently slipped that Loan was his ex. Well he had brought his new chick down to hang out with an old one. LMAO. Smooth buddy...always smooth. AHHAHA, stupid bitch was so mad. She was like "what... she is ur ex!" And he looked all worried then he saw me staring at him half smiling and he quickly manned up and said "yeah so what?" then she got up and left to the bathroom. And he was like "whatever! That Bitch is on trial!" LOL

2. Or when he was dating my cousin... and dating his other best friends sister. At one point, or at the same time. lol. Sigh. It was hilarious. [the DRAMA room!!] hmm hahaha. How hectic he was. With all these girls fighting for him and fighting about him. And I'm fighting with him, cause I'm hungry and it was late. JK. But yeah.. it was interesting. As always.

3. His favourite things to say were "Daaaamn girl!!!" and "sooo mean" haha (loan u know what I'm talking about!)

I miss his bro, so much too. sigh.. my durka(s) I can't wait till your out bro... I love you.

SEE doesn't the cartoon look exactly like him! hahaha

[note] hmm... Ryan says it could also be DIRKA DIRKA... LOL.Durka durka..dirka dirka? whatevez. LOL

.will.you.still.Love.me.in.the.morning?.

...forever and ever babe...
What a line eh? Well I took that from the movie Click, starring Adam Sandler and Kate Beckinsale. It was honestly quite the tear jerker, at the end that is. It starts out with Sandlers usual bullshit comedy junk. But I was surprised at the ending,how it made me think over my life and the people around me that I love. Well, unfortunately everyone loves the wrapped up in a bow, happy ending crap. It's all smiles and blaaaa blah blah BLAH in the end. He should of just effin died man. But whatevz... I guess if the fucker dies, than he wouldn't have his chance to redeem himself and "take the better path" in life. UGH. How unrealistic, who the fuck gets a second chance anyways? Oh Jesus did, and even he decided to eff off. But that's why it's just a movie. Where's my fucking controller when I need one? I'd mute the fuck out of so many douches and rewind back to the best moments in my life.. which were with Mike of course! My snuggumz bee.

We have a very interesting relationship, we like to "pretend" we aren't dating sometimes to spice things up, sometimes Mike likes to "pretend" to eff my cousin hahaha its quite funny I assure you. Well we just celebrated our 2 year Anniversary up in Banff, we stayed at the ♥fairmont hotel♥ omg it was so romantic! Anyways, we were sitting at the bar together having some drinks, when I remembered the sweet romantic scene in Click, where the Sandler and Beckinsale are sitting at the bar and she writes on a napkin: will you still love me in the morning? and slides it over to him. He writes something back and slides it back to her. It says: forever and ever babe. How sweet. Well in my case... haha this is how ours went: pretty sweet eh? hahaha so fucking awesome.. I really love that fucker... sigh... If you are interested in seeing the short clip of the movie with that scene playing in the movie. --> ♥CLICK HERE♥